One month aboard the ship ought to have taught some sense of direction to the crew. But it was hardly the case. Not only did all my plans fail, but none of them even remotely executed. The lack of planning and organized behavior makes me fail myself in all real world scenarios. It started with going to Chennai. The share auto fare which was not split up properly. Second on, the Bus fare to chennai which was not split properly. Then the hasty decision to go to Tidel park. The only work I had there was returning my Planet Yumm card which gave me a mere Rs 50. But coming back from Tidel to Koyambedu costed me Rs 25 and had some buscuits on the way, which was another 10. So the net gain of this sudden impulsive decision was Rs 15. For this meager amount, I wasted close to 3 hours. Further next day, went to get Krishna's laptop, which was a Freakin Sony VAIO, with Core i7, 8 Gigs of RAM, Touch screen monster! To get that laptop, I drove away all the way to T nagar to find out its in Vadapalani. Then had to go to Vadapalani, to get it. When I saw the laptop, I got so jealous and upset. My college spends 70 grand and gives a low configuration HP whereas my cousins gets a free gift from uncles abroad and that too a 90 grand Laptop! Though I am quite humble and would generally not accept such gifts, but this kind of treatment just makes me jealous for no reason. Its better not to think about it I guess. Materialistic pleasure is quite disastrous. In an impulse, ordered a Moto E for myself which is quite a decent Dual Sim phone. Hopefully it fulfils my overflowing jealousy which doesnt stop to boil. Further, in the evening, I went out to to an airtel centre some 1 hour away to find out it was closed. Wasted another 2 hours roaming around for nothing. Almost close to Losing my mind, I decide to end my day.
All this hoopla just raises a few questions in my mind. What is fair and what is not. There are my cousins, who get stuff like iPad, iPhone, Vaio when all they do is pester my grandfather. And they get all this for free! And here is me, who denies gifts all the time. It is more of an impulse. Whenever somebody asks something, I deny before even thinking about it. The only way I accept gifts is if people already bought it. Otherwise I make some excuse or the other to deny it. Its been the story all my life. There is some amount of pride which is deep rooted, maybe because of my parents (both of whom are very proud) which just pushes me away from free gifts in life. But I fail to understand why I get so jealous when I see others getting it. Is that dissappointment of a missed opportunity? I guess I will just learn that about myself in a few years. For now, I just have to get myself to a point when the materialistic pleasures don;t matter anymore. When I stop caring about who gets what and how much. The point when I am self content and satisfied with what I do and what I get.
All this hoopla just raises a few questions in my mind. What is fair and what is not. There are my cousins, who get stuff like iPad, iPhone, Vaio when all they do is pester my grandfather. And they get all this for free! And here is me, who denies gifts all the time. It is more of an impulse. Whenever somebody asks something, I deny before even thinking about it. The only way I accept gifts is if people already bought it. Otherwise I make some excuse or the other to deny it. Its been the story all my life. There is some amount of pride which is deep rooted, maybe because of my parents (both of whom are very proud) which just pushes me away from free gifts in life. But I fail to understand why I get so jealous when I see others getting it. Is that dissappointment of a missed opportunity? I guess I will just learn that about myself in a few years. For now, I just have to get myself to a point when the materialistic pleasures don;t matter anymore. When I stop caring about who gets what and how much. The point when I am self content and satisfied with what I do and what I get.
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| A meme that best describes the situation |
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